Flying Solo? 3 Things That Suck About Your Partner Traveling Without You

And 3 things that make it all worth it.

Hiya! Hannah here whilst Mike is off riding quads in the Omani dessert.

And I’m curious, have you ever said this to your partner?

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I’m so excited for you to explore [insert any random, but international holiday destination] with your friends.

Continuation within the same breath

But, when will you be back?

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It’s crazy, right?

One day your mom raises you to be a fiercely independent person, and the next, you’re kind of sad to see your other half leave. To defend the honor of my independent-person-raising-mother, I wasn’t like this 1,5 years ago.

But that was before we’d moved in together to our cosy flat in Amsterdam, and after I’d just returned from living abroad in Sweden for a year. My independence was sky-high and Mike could’ve left to Australia if he wanted to.

And yes, he wanted to 🥲.

But once you live together, you get so used to spending time with each other, that their absence has more of an impact on your life than you’d maybe like to admit. And I’m here to say that it’s okay that it does.

So, what exactly are the shitty aspects of being the one left behind, and what are the things that make you want to buy them a plane ticket to do it all over again?

Time to shake some feathers and get real about (them 🙄 ) flying solo.

Seems like I new what was about to happen all the way back in Greece…

3 things that suck:

1) No morning coffee walks or weekly date nights

When you have a nice routine going for you, it can be a shame when it gets disrupted for the time being. And, yes, we’re all about seeking discomfort and doing things for the first time over here, but there’s a beauty in the mundane day-to-day as well. Those regular, effortless moments of connection are difficult to replicate from afar.

But luckily, temporarily missing out on them makes you appreciate them even more.

2) Rinse, wash, repeat

Besides acknowledging that this is a first-world-problem, it’s simply an inconvenience to have no one to share the (dishwashing)load with. 😮‍💨

Who’s doing groceries? Well, you are. Will dinner be ready when I get home from work? Only if you made leftovers yesterday. Wouldn’t it be nice to relax on the couch after all this? Not until you’ve cleaned the kitchen, it won’t.

House chores take up way more time than you’d like them to - especially if you can’t teamwork your way through them.

So yeah, your partner jetting off to a deserted island (or desert in my case) leaves a gift in the form of a daily to-do list just for you.

Thanks, babe. 😩

3) Missing out on the fun

If you’re subscribed to Mapping Memories, it’s safe to say you like to travel.

And if you’re not subscribed yet, what are you waiting for? 👀

So when you’re partner’s traveling without you, you’re missing out on the fun and adventure. It doesn’t mean they can’t do anything fun without you, but traveling’s a special one. It’s the gift that keeps on giving in the form of lifelong memories.

And that in itself is reason enough to want to pack your own suitcase to join them next time.

But luckily, there’s an upside to all of this.

There’s a lot to gain from a temporary “housemate” break. Let’s dive into the benefits of them leaving you alone from time to time 😉

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3 things that are great:

1) Seeing somebody else for a change 😛

Whereas you might usually have quite some routines and plans together, you now get to spend more time with the other amazing people in your life.

Dinner with a friend here, refreshing walk in nature with the family there. It might cost more effort to actively reach out and make those plans, but it’s a great push to switch things up and allocate more of your time to them.

It’s natural to stick to your habits and lean into whatever’s easiest (aka hanging out with the person who’s already in the same house).

But when they’re gone, you have more motivation to seek out connections elsewhere.

2) Embracing spontaneity with your free calendar

Last week, my Sunday was unexpectedly open.

On Saturday, I watched the heartwarming Yes Theory video about my crazy hostel weekend with 71 strangers together with a small group (read the full story here). Following our chat, I proposed a spontaneous meetup the next day.

We spent the whole afternoon and evening at a pingpong club reminiscing about our experience and getting to know each other even better. The best part was rounding up 12 other strangers to join us in a big table tennis session to spread the philosophy - that a stranger is a friend you haven’t met yet - even further.

Sure, you can also do this with your partner still in the same country, but there’s less of need for it then, isn’t there?

Being left behind gives you the freedom and extra motivation to be spontaneous and do whatever you want, whenever you want.

3) Exchanging stories afterwards

The best part about your partner traveling without you? The proper and in-depth “story time” session you get once they’re back.

How was it to sleep in the desert? What was your favorite part of the trip? And did you really visit a goat market?

It’s such a blast to hear about the beauty and craziness of another country, especially from someone else’s perspective. They’ll notice things that you wouldn’t have normally paid attention to, and alternatively they might not have an answer to your most burning questions.

(I’m still waiting to hear all the details about the other guests on Mike’s diving boat in Egypt 🙄).

But that’s the fun part - to hear their stories and their point of view.

I bet it’ll feel like you were right there with them all along.

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Should you worry about me?

Definitely not!

I’m both happy Mike’s achieving his travel dreams, as much as I am excited for him to come back again. The cherry on top is even more appreciation for our joint travel adventures as well as our day-to-day lives in Amsterdam.

Now, did I write this post as an out-loud journal entry? Maybe. Could you relate to parts of it? I sure hope so.

Let me know by commenting below.

Do you also simultaneously like and dislike your partner traveling without you?

And what would you say are the challenging and rewarding parts of it?

Thanks for diving into this edition of Mapping Memories with me.

Rest assured: Mike will be back to help with the dishes again next week! 🥳